Saturday, October 8, 2011

The Mommy Takes Baths Too

Dear Toddlers Everywhere,

I have made a Significant Discovery. The mommy takes Baths, too. I caught her Taking one last night, and Giggled so much. Then I went and Gathered up all the Toys that go in the Bath and brought them to her one by one. That was the Strangest thing: the mommy seemed to be Enjoying her Bath but she didn't have any Toys in it. Grownups don't think these things through.

Rule of Grownup Culture # 172:

Grownups rush into Everything without Planning first.

When the daddy is pouring my Bath, I always go and gather up each Toy that I want that night, one by one, and put them in the Bath. That's called Planning. It doesn't take Long, but it's how you make sure your Bath is a good time. I go get the bathtime Walrus, and the Penguin, and the Ribbet-Frog, and the Starfish, and lots of Balls. Then I look for anything else that can go in the Bath and that looks like it might be Fun, like Dirty Laundry or an Alarm Clock. And I bring those things to the Bathtub. Only sometimes the daddy takes them and doesn't let me put them in the Bath. That's called Censorship.

But the mommy doesn't plan her Bath, because she doesn't pick out her Toys before she steps into the Water. That's why I have to help the mommy.

Sometimes the Grownups are Totally Helpless and we Toddlers need to step in to make sure they don't get Bored.

Your helpful Toddler Anthropologist,

Baby River

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